The Annual Great Easter Battle

One sunny Spring afternoon, my mom got home from her life drawing class with a big smile on her face. I assumed that she had drawn Ginger again (one of her favorite models), or maybe Drew with the massive shoulders and matching parts. But no, my mom had a better reason for smiling- she had an idea.

“Rebecca! We gotta go to the store!” She said to me. “We need Peeps! And toothpicks!”

“I hate Peeps!” I said back. My brother is a big fan of the sickly sweet marshmallow chicks (of most chicks, really!), and in college I lived with a girl who loves stale Peeps, but for me they had always been the worst part of Easter.

“I know, but we're not gonna eat them!” My mom responded. “We're gonna fight them!”

“What?” I said, laughing.

“Yeah, see, you get the peeps, and then you put toothpicks in their hands and put them in the microwave, and they fight each other!” My mom was ecstatic, her green eyes wide.

“Mom,” I tried to explain, “they're marshmallows. If you put them in the microwave, they'll just expand and melt all over the place.”

“No, they'll get bigger and move around and fight each other!” She was so excited, imagining the little creatures coming to life and wreaking havoc on each other. “Let's go to the store!”

We drove to Bi-Mart, and roamed the candy aisle. My mom couldn't decide. Should we get two colors of chicks and fight them, or should we get a team of chicks and another of bunnies, and really let the games begin? We settled on Chicks and Bunnies (yellow and pink), and a big box of toothpicks (to arm the soldiers), and then drove excitedly home to pop them in the microwave and watch the sugershed!

My mom was meticulous with the weaponry. Each little fighter got a toothpick, and some (call them the first line of defense) got two! She picked out a hardy-looking Chick and a Bunny with something to prove, and set them up, mono el mono, on a paper plate, which she then placed in the microwave and shut the door.

“How long should we leave them in for?” My mom asked me.

“Until there is a clear victor!” I answered. Or until the microwave is covered in pink and yellow goo.

Turning the dial on the microwave, my mom was as excited as a Roman spectator. The plate rotated slowly around, giving us a full view of the battle, and we were captivated by the intensity of combat. The Bunny welded his sword with the might of a, well, bunny, and the Chick began to grow to an intimidating size, his little weapon getting lost in a liquefying mass of sugary terror.

Three minutes later, when I was wiping marshmallow off the sides of the microwave and my mom was despondently removing toothpicks from other Peeps, I began to appreciate the role of these gooey snacks in my Easter basket. They weren't so bad, just as long as you didn't ingest them.

Every Easter, I get a package in the mail covered with drawings of Chicks and Bunnies, armed to the beak, and ready for war! Inside, I find my very own set of spongy soldiers, and a little note proclaiming, “The Great Easter Battle!”. Peeps have now become my favorite thing about Easter.

HAPPY EASTER!!!!